In my reflection on the box of uncertainties – first impressions, I believe that the moment of a handshake holds a significant amount of uncertainty. A handshake is not only a formal initiation of social interaction, but it also allows us to convey emotions and messages. Despite the changes brought on by the pandemic, the importance of the handshake remains. This is why I chose to create a handshake device – I wanted to capture the feeling of uncertainty that I experienced during my first impressions through a handshake. The emotions and feelings conveyed through the act of placing one’s hand in the box and handshake with something uncertain inside the box. This experience can represent the uncertainty of first impressions.
Upon deeper reflection, I realized that the uncertainty of first impressions is merely the starting point of the uncertainty in a relationship. I came to the conclusion that to understand and clear the uncertainty of first impressions truly, I needed to focus on the uncertainty of the relationship as a whole. This led me to put the concept of the relationship itself in my “box of uncertainty”. I think that by addressing and finding solutions to the uncertainty in a relationship, the uncertainty of a first impression will naturally become clearer.
It is natural for us to primarily associate relationships with romantic ones, as they tend to have the greatest impact and hold the most value in our lives. Erich Fromm(1956) argues that love and meaningful relationships play a crucial role in helping individuals fulfil their potential and find meaning in life. However, relationships encompass a wide range of connections beyond just romantic ones. Our relationships with “I” and “the real me” with friends, colleagues, and families all play a role in shaping our lives and experiences.
The uncertainty in relationships arises from a combination of factors, including the unpredictable nature of the future and the unique dynamics created by the unique individuals. This dynamic landscape of emotions, needs, and expectations can make relationships challenging, but it also gives them the depth and richness that makes them so valuable. The uncertainty of relationships is a natural part of the human experience, but by being aware of it and actively working towards finding solutions, we can create more fulfilling and satisfying connections with those around us.
Imagine a ball falling into a crystal-clear sphere and showing some movement, and then another ball joins to the place. The sphere symbolizes the boundaries and limitations that exist in all relationships; also, the space is their personal space. The two balls are constantly moving and interacting with each other, creating uncertainties. These uncertainties can range from miscommunication to conflicting expectations and the two balls colliding or drifting apart. The clear sphere provides a safe and contained environment for two individuals to interact; relationships can provide a space for individuals to work through their uncertainties and find balance.
The initial model of the box was represented by a “Balance Plan”, in which two marbles were placed on a flat surface and their movements could be observed on the tilted plate. However, this model emphasized the balance of power in relationships but miss to fully capture the complexities of the relationship. Thus, I proposed a new approach to better represent the system.
While engaged in this project, I came to the realization that I desired to create something that embodied my personal thoughts and beliefs. Perhaps this was a result of spending an excessive amount of time working on projects that did not follow my own creative vision. Despite never considering myself an artist, my experiences within the arts and culture industries have fostered a longing to create something of my own.
This is my final box of uncertainties. I chose to resist the temptation to create something cool and instead adopted the “readymade” philosophy. The opening in the fish ball represents a potential escape, way out from my uncertainties.
The blue marble symbolizes me and the challenges I face in relationships. I often find myself grappling with questions such as “Is it my fault?” and “Can I improve this relationship by trying harder?” These inquiries lead to feelings of uncertainty about my own identity and role within a relationship. Despite existing within a web of relationships, I believe that all relationships ultimately boil down to a dynamic between “you and me.”
Another marble represents “you”. These two show the unpredictability of our relationship. The unknown future and the distinct nature of our being make it impossible to comprehend the outcome of our connection fully. In relationships, it’s easy to lose touch with our authentic selves, whether it’s due to fear or uncertainty.
Furthermore, societal and cultural expectations can compound these feelings, leading to experiences of imposter syndrome. These external factors can cause relationships to become distorted and complex. According to Mary Piphet (1994), societal expectations, including those related to femininity, beauty, and sexuality, can have a profound impact on the development of young women, and can lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.
In this “box of uncertainty”, the relationships between “you and me” are not straightforward, as there are multiple “yous” and I coexisting within this space. I hope this box will be filled with relationships that are healthy and allow me to be my authentic self.
References
Fromm, E. (1956). The Art of Loving. New York: Harper & Row.
Pipher, M. (1994). Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. New York: Ballantine Books.